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10:05 p.m. - 2008-03-13
THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES

One of my rules for this thing was that I was not going to talk shit about anyone here. Not only do I not want to get in trouble later because the real life person I was trash-talking somehow found out about this thing, I also don't think that a diarist's personal drama tends to make for very good reading. I'd usually prefer a funny anecdote or aimless musing.

With that disclaimer in place, I would like to submit this anonymous, not-inspired-by-anyone-specific letter.

Dear Lesbians and Queer Ladies of the World,

Lets talk about sex. Specifically, our sex. Please don't take this the wrong way...I love what we have. It has so may possibilities; it can embody so many contradictions. It can be soft and rough simultaneously, or completely kinky yet wonderfully gentle. Who among us has not heard that bi girl, back from a long stint in the Land of the Men, utter the phrase, "I forgot. Girls are such better kissers." I have been that girl.

So I hope you'll understand when I say that we need to talk. Straight men are constantly being reminded by television, by movies, even by Maxim, that girls take a little longer to get going than boys, and to please remember to engage in foreplay before you even think about getting down to the penetration parts. Lesbians of the world, you too must heed this advice. If you happen to be someone who can get ready just by looking at your girl and imagining the delights ahead, then congratulations. Embrace your visual sexuality, and use it.

Unfortunately, I am not that kind of girl. I need the build-up. All the flicks and nips, petting, rubbing, and sucking, diffused over the entire body - these are my favorite parts of sex. If you jump right to the main event, then, for me, much of the point is lost. If you jump right to main event and keep blindly going forwards, regardless of the unconcealable fact that my body is not responding, you are probably hurting me.

So, girls, bois, femmes, dykes, and all the other students of Sappho out there, I leave you with this. Pay attention to your partner. Foreplay is not just a lead-up to sex; it is sex. Don't let the men have all the fun.

Thank you,

Bisexual in Brooklyn


In other news, I'm going to SXSW tomorrow! I know that its mostly over, but this is when my Spring Break starts, so this is when I'm going. I'm excited about the music, but mostly I'm excited to be in Texas and eat good food and see my family and be warm. But before I can go I need to pack, and before I can pack, I need to wash my clothes. So I'm going to go do that.

-Britt


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